Bad Habits
by KolKolKol
Summary: L has to break the habit of biting his nails, so Light has a plan to distract him for a bit. Rated M for a very, very good reason! Warnings: explicit smut and probably no plot at all.


**A/N: Shit title is shit. Yay, my first Death Note fic, so of course it's a yaoi. I really should be working on my Hetalia fic, but this completely caught my interest and I just had to do it. *swears* Stupid plot bunnies, invading my brain with their little rape-sporks...**

**This piece of crack jizz was born when my mother, yet again, yelled at me to stop biting my nails. I immediately thought of L, and then because my mind is the epitome of everything in the gutter plus everything else, this was born. Sorry if they're sort of OOC, but I literally got into Death Note a few days ago. Plus, I'm not that amazing at writing L's intriguing way of speaking/acting just yet, this is mainly practice. And what better way to practice than to involve smut? *cheer***

**Well, this fanfic will probably get me mauled by my friend XxRedxX, and probably two other people when they find out I wrote this, who specifically warned me to stay away from this pairing. Well, less 'warned' more 'threatened', but you get the picture. *shakes head* Red, you of all people should know that it is impossible to keep me away from the yaoi. The fact that you forbade me from supporting this pairing made me like it that much more. Plus, I mean, c'mon. They were *SPOILER* chained together... the very first thing out of my mouth was "Bondage".**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note, or cheese. This fanfic doesn't involve cheese, but I just thought we should make that clear right away. Now that that's all cleared up, let's continue with the randomness! Enjoy!**  
_

Light shook his head in exhaustion. It was 1:30 in the morning and L was still up, typing away at his laptop. The ridiculous chain that attached his wrist to the insomniac's wasn't going to let him get away from the man, so here he was, desperately trying to go to sleep, because unlike a certain someone he actually needed it to function. Light's dark brown eyes refused to close, fixated on the bright red numbers on the clock as they slowly ticked by. He longed to go to sleep, but the rhythmic tacking of the keyboard was keeping him wide awake. It didn't help that every so often, L would mutter something to himself, and Light could usually distinguish the word 'percent' or 'Kira' or 'cake'.

Sighing, Light rolled onto his other side to glance at L. The detective was hunched over his computer, the glow from the monitor lighting his face. Light could easily see his wide eyes rolling across the screen, sometimes darting down to the dimly-lit keys to type something out. L didn't seem to notice that Light was watching him, or if he did, he didn't care. Whenever he moved his left hand, the chain connecting them clanked rather obnoxiously, thoroughly irritating Light. After a few minutes, L sighed quietly and began to chew on his fingernail, creating a faint 'tk' sound.

"Ryuzaki, stop that," Light said, swatting his hand away from his mouth. "You know Watari told you you've got to stop biting your nails. You've got too many bad habits."

"Light-kun, why are you not asleep?" L asked in his usual monotone voice. He hesitantly removed his finger from his mouth, but looked as though he rather wouldn't have.

"Why do _you_ never sleep? Give the damn Kira case a rest," Light grumbled.

"Your wishes for me to discontinue finding Kira have raised your Kira percentage by two percent," L informed him. Light ignored it; he was so used to hearing that by now it didn't even faze him anymore. Simply out of habit, L raised his hand to his mouth again and bit down on his thumbnail again.

"You're going to get pinworms from that, you know," Light told him, yanking the hand away again. "Come to think of it, maybe that's why you don't sleep."

"Unlikely, seeing as pinworms are more common in children and pregnant women," L muttered without tearing his eyes from the screen. Light sighed and used his unchained hand to reach to the bedside table where there was a bowlful of candy. He randomly grabbed a piece and tossed it in front of L. It bounced across the laptop's keyboard and L caught it before it had a chance to roll onto the bed covers.

"Never mind about the worms; this is probably why you don't sleep," Light commented as L began eating the candy. It was becoming more and more common to find L shoving sugar in his mouth - a few times literally; Light had found L balancing on the floor with a bag of cane sugar and a spoon once - since Watari had told L to try to break the habit of biting his nails. At least it gave him something to do with his mouth other than make his nails jagged and broken.

When Light closed his eyes again, trying to go to sleep, he heard the sharp, telltale 'tk' sound. Without even opening his eyes, he swatted a hand randomly in L's direction, colliding with something he assumed was an arm.

"Do I have to pull out those damn high-res photos of the shit under people's nails again?" Light asked tiredly.

"No, as those had no effect. I already knew that bacteria and other germs live underneath fingernails. The fact that you decided to print out copies of pictures of them taken under a microscope made no difference," L said.

"Then I'll get those other gross pictures of the finger infections," Light said. "The ones with the bloated fingers, red skin, and all the pus oozing out of a festering cut made by nail-biting."

When L didn't reply, Light tossed him a few more candies and rolled over again, facing the clock. Great, now it was 1:50. Light forced himself to close his eyes. The second he did, he was overwhelmed by the sound of crinkling candy wrappers, the tacking of the keys, and L's murmurs to himself as he worked. And, once again, the little 'tk' sound. Light's eyes shot open again and he yanked himself out of bed, jerking L with him, to find those damn pus photos. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight.

_*The next morning*_

Light slapped the alarm clock as it went off as it usually did at five in the morning. He groaned; when he had last looked at the clock, it had been 4:18. Another night of less than an hour of sleep. L, of course, was still up, still at his computer, and still staring intently at it. The only difference at one in the morning from now was that there were a million brightly-colored candy wrappers scattered around L on the bed, and quite a few that had fallen to the floor as well. Light wondered if he had moved even once during the night, then dismissed the thought. Of course he hadn't.

"Good morning, Light-kun," L said.

"Morning, Ryuzaki," Light said, sitting up against the headboard. He glanced to the bedside table, but didn't find what he was looking for. He did observe, however, that the bowl was empty of candy, and he would no doubt need to refill it.

"What is Light-kun looking for?" L asked. He looked contemplatively at the computer screen, hit the backspace key a few times, and began typing again.

"The key to these stupid shackles," Light replied. "Remember? You and Watari told me that I could have today off to go see Misa?"

"Yes, I remember." Light wasn't sure whether to be unfazed or astounded when L actually flicked his gaze from the computer for all of about thirty seconds. Fifteen to take the key from his own bedside table and unlock Light, who immediately began rubbing his wrist; the thing hurt to drag around for so long. L spent the other fifteen seconds - he timed it - searching for candy.

"I've got a feeling you ate it all last night," Light commented. "I'll get you a cake from the kitchen before I head out today."

L made some type of acknowledgment in the form of a noncommittal grunt and went back to his computer. Light wasn't sure whether to grin or just start getting ready. He decided just to take a shower instead. He always took advantage of the shower when L would unchain him; it was rather awkward for them to shower chained to each other, one person sitting outside while the other showered, then switching off. The chain was mainly a huge hindrance for both of them, but L refused to take it off except for rare occasions such as this one.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Light went back into the bedroom he was forced to share with L and fumbled for fresh clothes. Instead of going back into the bathroom, he simply changed in the room; after you spend a few months chained to a guy, nothing is really personal or private anymore, which Light had grown grudgingly accustomed to. Plus, he doubted L could move his gaze from the computer screen, anyway.

After he had gotten everything together, fixed his hair, located his keys, and studied for a while, he decided to leave. The clock on the wall told him that it was about eight.

"I'll be back later, Ryuzaki," he called down the hallway, wondering if the detective would even hear him.

"Cake?" was the response Light received. He sighed and unlocked the door.

"On the bedside table; you haven't seen it since you didn't remove your nose from the monitor when I brought it in."

Light heard the happy sound of a computer being set on the bed and a plate being picked up.

"Remember: No biting the damn nails, or I'll get the pictures again. This time of the Chronic Paronychia, the one with the green discoloration and pus," he yelled back to L as he left the house. After he was a few feet out the door, planning on catching a bus, he heard his phone ring in his pocket.

"Hello?" he answered, forgetting to check the caller ID.

"Hi Light!" came a perky, clueless voice from the other end. "Where are you? Misa-misa is worried about you!"

Light sighed. "Misa, I'm almost there, okay? I've got to grab a bus; it'll take me twenty minutes, tops."

"Okay, Light. Hurry!" Light heard the connection end and he stuffed the phone back in his pocket. He waited at the bus stop for five minutes before the next bus came. When he boarded, Misa unexpectedly threw herself at him before he could even find a seat.

"Misa? I thought was meeting you there?" Light asked, trying to find a way to breath.

"Oh, I didn't want to wait for you, Light, so I came to you! Now we'll have more time together!" Misa said with a smile that made her eyes close. Light could see her teeth with that smile, and shuddered; again he realized how utterly horrifying Misa was. He sighed; for once he wished he was back with L. At least the insomniac didn't look like he was going to rape anyone. Misa, however, was a different story. It was going to be a long day...

_*Later*_

L looked up as he heard the front door shut. The clock informed him that it was about seven. Light knew L would still be up at that time, simply because it was rare that he _wasn't_ up.

"Ryuzaki, I'm back," Light announced. "I stopped by the store and bought candy." L's mouth turned upward in a small grin; Light had learned that when he got to go out by himself, bringing back some form of sugar was mandatory.

"Back so soon, Light-kun?" L asked as Light appeared in their shared room. Light began dumping the bag of sweets into the bowl on the table beside L. Before he had even set the empty bag down, L was already beginning to consume the candy.

"I left at eight, Ryuzaki," Light replied. "How is eleven hours 'so soon'?"

"Because logically, you would have wanted to make the most of your time unchained," L explained. "Light-kun hasn't been unchained for a few weeks, and he is, as you once put it, popular with women. And Light-kun is a traditional lover, from what I can deduce, and it is still bright outside, which means you did not participate in-"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Light interrupted quickly, holding up his hand. "I'd really rather not have you psychoanalyzing my sex life."

"If you wish." L's eyes quickly flickered back to his computer. After a moment, he looked back up, a slightly confused expression on his pale face. "Light-kun?"

"Mm?"

"Why do you continue to date Misa if she disgusts you?"

Light stiffened, not expecting that particular question. His first thought was to try to avoid answering, but the look on L's face told him that the detective wasn't going to back down until he got an answer. So he tried taking the middle route.

"How do you know Misa disgusts me?" he asked. Okay, maybe it was more avoiding than any type of middle ground.

"Please, Light-kun, it isn't precisely subtle. Whenever you talk to her you look as though something unpleasant was under your nose."

"Odd way of putting it..." Light said. He sat down on the bed next to L. Light idly thought that this was one of the first times he had seen L not staring at his computer for more than three minutes.

"Perhaps, but the fact still stands that you do not seem to harbor any romantic feelings towards her," L said. "Why does Light-kun stay with Misa, instead of finding someone else who you would be in a more ... emotional relationship with? This seems to be the better option, in my point of view."

Light shrugged. "Ryuzaki, I really don't want to talk about that right now."

"But-"

"Ryuzaki. I said I don't want to talk about it right now," Light said with finality, caramel eyes boring into black. L could see that Light meant it and began to bite at his fingernails again. Light sighed and pulled L's hand away from his mouth. The face L made as he did so was one of disappointment, one that Light found actually quite cute. Wait, 'cute'? No way, he did _not_ just use that adjective to describe the world's greatest detective. The one who was on a hunt for Kira. The one who was a _guy_, anyway! Yeah, L was a guy, and Light was completely straight. Right...?

"Is is possible for you to stop that?" Light asked, slightly exasperated. To L, it seemed as though Light meant his bad habit of biting his nails, but Light was actually referring to L's ability to make him question himself. If there was one thing Light Yagami never ever did, it was question his own sexuality.

"Perhaps; there is a forty percent chance that I will be able to," L stated. Light found himself repressing a smile at L's constantly pulling random percentages out of his ass. No matter how annoying it was it was rather - no, he was not about to say 'attractive'. No way. In hell. At all. What he was going to say was 'annoying'. Yeah, just a little brain misfire. After all, they both start with 'A'; an easy mistake to make.

While Light was struggling with his adjectives, L had taken the opportunity to resume biting his thumbnail. Light finally noticed and grabbed L's wrists, holding them tightly in his grasp.

"I thought I told you to stop that," the auburn-haired man said.

"Light-kun, I have been thinking about your situation with Misa," L said.

"What, in the four minutes since I told you about it?" Light asked. He knew it was true - L really could think deeply about a subject in a small amount of time when he needed to.

"Yes," L said simply. "Light-kun, I believe Misa is what you would call a stand-in."

Light spluttered for lack of better words. Vocabulary really wasn't his thing today. L watched as the other man tried to form a sentence, wide eyes never leaving Light's face.

"A what? A stand-in? For who?" Light asked hurriedly, mushing his words together. Misa wasn't taking the place of anyone, was she? She didn't bear much, if any, resemblance to anyone else Light knew.

"I was hoping that Light-kun would tell me," L said. Looking down, L remembered that Light was still gripping his wrists. Light loosened his hold, but didn't let go.

"Misa isn't a stand-in for anyone," Light said, but his voice was full of uncertainty. While Misa didn't look like anyone else, Light could easily close his eyes and replace her with almost anybody. When she wasn't speaking, that is. Not that he would, but it certainly would be simple.

"Whatever Light-kun says." L's tone clearly told Light that the older man didn't believe a word of what Light was saying. "Though the chances of Misa being a stand-in for someone are in the high eighties." _Of course he had to add another percentage,_ Light thought.

"Oh really? Pray tell, how did you arrive at this conclusion?" Light thought that while L explained whatever deductive process he had taken to figure this out, Light could figure out how to find another excuse not to talk about it anymore. L certainly realized that this was the case, but still proceeded, feeling confident that he could redirect the conversation if necessary.

"Well, you refuse to leave her, but she doesn't make you happy. Although I do not believe that she bears any physical resemblance to anyone in particular, there is most likely something about her figure or attitude you find particularly similar, most likely her figure or other trait. I find it hard to believe that you could be attracted to her type of inane attitude. The rather disappointing part is that Misa is one of the most intelligent females currently interested in you, and the fact that you chose her makes me believe that you want for someone more intelligent like yourself. Someone strong, smart, and perhaps a little unhinged, to add an interesting and unpredictable air."

Instead of trying to figure a way out of this conversation, Light found himself listening intently to the black-haired man. Everything he said was making sense in some way or another. He glanced down to his knees, trying to fit it all into his mind. Who knew having this weirdo chained to him could be useful?

"If I am correct," L said softly, and Light realized that the detective had moved slightly closer to him. "Someone like me."

L closed the gap between himself and Light and pressed their lips together tightly. Light immediately thought 'What the fuck is he doing?' and after that, he didn't even want to try to form words. L's hands went to his shoulders, pulling him even closer until there was practically no space left between them. Light cautiously responded, wrapping his arms around L's neck, moving his lips against the other man's. In the end, L was the one to pull away, and he looked at Light intently with his wide, dark eyes.

"I have wanted to do that for some time, now, Light," he said quietly.

"Ryuzaki, you were right. Misa is a stand-in," Light admitted, both to himself and to L.

L paused a moment, then slowly gave Light a rare smile. He shifted and kissed Light again, this time running his tongue along Light's bottom lip, asking for entrance which Light gave all too willingly. Light groaned as he felt L's tongue explore his mouth, his hands reach up to cup his face and tilt his head upwards.

"Mm...Ryuzaki...?" Light asked against L's soft, determined lips.

"Yes, Light?" L replied, looking at Light. He couldn't understand it, but now even L's normal inquisitive look was getting Light rather hot. Light instantly forgot what he was about to ask and dragged L into his lap, hands creeping down to his waist, slipping them in L's back pockets. L moaned softly and crashed their lips together again, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth. They fought for dominance in the kiss, and surprisingly - to Light - L won with ease. Light soon found himself moaning L's name over and over, melting into L's strong form as the detective hungrily pushed him back on the bed, normally blank eyes now glittering with a fierce lust. Now horizontal, Light could feel L's prominent erection pressing against his thigh. At the moment there was nothing Light wanted more in the world than to feel that skin against his, driving into him, becoming one with L. His breathing accelerated just thinking about it, and his jeans were now feeling far past uncomfortable.

Reluctantly, Light moved his hands from L's pockets to his shirt, hurriedly slipping it over his head and touching L's pale skin. Light rolled a nipple between his fingers, making L pull away from the kiss to rest his forehead on Light's shoulder, moaning rather loudly. Encouraged, Light switched to the other one, giving it the same treatment, if not a little harder than before. L automatically reached his hand up to his mouth, biting down on his thumb to keep from getting too loud.

"Ryuzaki, no...let's see if we can find a better use for those hands, shall we?" Light asked.

L grinned mischievously and snaked one hand down to Light's pants. He placed his hand over the growing bulge in the front and began kneading it. While palming Light through his pants, L began to rock up and down his body, creating friction that heated both their bodies even more.

"Oh God..." Light moaned, tilting his head back in ecstasy. L's other hand began taking Light's shirt off while he kissed Light's sensitive neck. Sucking and biting at the skin, L was sure it would leave quite a mark.

"You excite rather easily, don't you?" L asked, needing to pause between words to breathe. Not about to be outdone, Light shoved his hand down L's pants to grasp his erection, eliciting a shudder from the man above him.

"So do you," Light stated. L pushed Light's pants off quickly, beginning to trail his mouth down Light's body. They hurriedly shed what was left of their clothing, and L began grinding his hips roughly into Light's, breathing accelerated and lusty eyes grazing over his lover's body. L shifted himself downward, so slowly Light thought he was going to die from anticipation. L paused at Light's abdomen, lowering his head and starting to kiss Light's chest.

"Lower?" he asked in a soft murmur.

"Ryuzaki, I swear to God if you don't suck me off in three seconds I will hurt you," Light promised. Slightly surprised, but nonetheless turned on, L smirked down at his new lover as he trailed his hands down Light's body, stopping at his hips. Looking at Light's erection, a computing look on his face that seemed so out of place in their current situation, L realized that he actually had no clue how this was performed. Deciding that almost anything would be pleasurable to Light in this state, L flicked his tongue over the head of Light's member.

"Ngh...God...keep going, _please_," Light moaned, unable to keep himself from jerking his hips upward. L gave in and took the head into his mouth, exploring every inch of it with his skilled tongue. Light tightened his grip in L's hair and gasped at the feeling of that warm mouth enveloping him. L played with the head for a minute more before slowly taking more in, bobbing his head up and down, being careful not to graze Light with his teeth.

"God, Ryuzaki, _more_..." Light begged, beginning to thrust his hips up into L's mouth. L had to hold Light down, still bobbing his head while glancing up at Light to watch him every so often. The expressions on his face were so fascinatingly erotic, L found it hard to tear his eyes away. It didn't matter though; he didn't need to look at what he was doing at the moment. After a minute more, L could hear Light's breathing becoming even faster, his moans increasing in volume.

"_Ahhh_...Ryuzaki, I-" Light cried out, involuntarily jerking his hips upward as white completely covered his vision, shooting his seed into L's mouth. L smiled to himself as he felt his lover panting beneath him as he moved to straddle Light. Light looked up at L, feeling himself growing hard already just by seeing L's skilled tongue flicking around his lips to catch any stray semen.

"Ryuzaki?" Light asked softly as L leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Light, I am going to fuck you so hard you will not be able to remember your own name," L murmured, making Light shiver. He had no doubts in his mind that the detective would do just that.

"Please do," Light invited, snaking a hand down to L's erection, which was once again poking his thigh. Wrapping his hand around it, Light began moving his hand up and down the shaft, and L slammed their lips together in a near-violent kiss, cupping Light's face to bring him as close as he possibly could. When he finally broke the kiss, a string of saliva connected their lips together. It broke when L grabbed Light's hands and placed them above his head. Holding them there with one hand, he brought the other up to Light's mouth.

"Suck," he ordered, the lust in his voice making it husky. Something about the assertive, demanding quality in the black-haired man's tone made Light obey eagerly, trying to tug his hands out of L's grasp. L retracted his fingers from Light's mouth, replacing them with his lips as he slipped his hand under Light's body.

"This will hurt," L warned, "but you'll have to relax." Light nodded.

"Just get on with it, Ryuzaki," he muttered. He moaned in pain when he felt one of L's fingers pushing past the ring of muscles.

"Relax, Light-kun, you have to relax," L whispered.

"You try taking a finger up the ass and see how you can relax," Light hissed up at him. L's eyebrows shot up into his sweat-plastered hair, but he smirked and kissed Light gently.

"I'm sorry Light," he said. "I'll try going slower."

Light moaned again when he felt the finger move again, penetrating him deeper. He bit down on L's shoulder, trying to wait it out.

"_Ah_!" he yelled when he felt a second finger join the first. "Ryuzaki, _please_!"

"I'm sorry," L said again, scissoring his two fingers inside Light. Light began to sense tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, forming from the pain. L kissed them away each time, murmuring softly, trying to distract him. L didn't even flinch when Light bit his shoulder harder as L added a third finger. Soon L could hear Light's groans turn from painful to enjoyment, and soon Light was begging him for more.

"Ngh...I need you _now_, Ryuzaki," Light said. He jerked involuntarily when L withdrew his fingers and positioned himself above Light, his erect member brushing against Light's ass.

"And you'll have me, Light. Don't forget my promise," L reminded him in a low whisper. Light shuddered in anticipation, twisting his hands in L's mussed hair.

"_Ahh_!" Light cried when he felt L's erection push into him. That was a _lot_ bigger than three fingers. Once L was fully sheathed, Light warned him, "If you move just yet I will hurt you." He could feel L's impatience, see that his partner wanted desperately to move, to do something more, but Light needed to adjust to the size first.

"O-okay, go Ryuzaki," Light said after a moment.

L wasted no time in pulling out to the tip, then thrusting back in harder, causing both men to let out a loud moan. L continued thrusting, picking up speed quickly. Panting hard, Light yanked L's head down to his own so he could kiss the detective, moaning quite loudly when L moved the kiss to Light's neck, creating another love bite.

"Oh _God_, Ryuzaki...don't stop," Light begged, thrusting his hips up in time to L's steady rythym. His hands were hopelessly entangled in L's jet-black hair, legs locked around L's slim waist.

"Stop? I have no intention of stopping," L said, shifting his position a bit. "You're going to forget your own name first."

"Ngh...not going to be..._ahhh_...much longer then." Light arched his back and cried out when a particularly sharp thrust was executed directly against his sweet spot.

"Oh _Ryuzaki_! Right there!" Light screamed, thrusting his hips up, trying to get L to hit that spot again.

Before L complied, he asked Light, "Can you remember your name yet?"

"No!" Light said, desperately bucking his hips into L's, hands scrabbling for a hold on the bedsheets. He wanted L to make him cum, and refused to touch himself to make that happen. L smiled and began thrusting furiously, without any real rhythm, straight into Light's prostate. Light cried out, whipping his head to the side as his body jerked in pleasure. He felt L's slightly-shaking hand grab his erection and pump it harshly. Light pulled L in for a final kiss, sucking on his bottom lip as the hot tension in his stomach relaxed. Light let out a scream of pure pleasure as he released all over his and L's stomachs.

Feeling Light's muscles contract and the hot seed hit his skin, L groaned as stars invaded his vision and he released deep inside Light. L pulled out and collapsed onto Light's chest, rolling off after a few seconds. Panting, Light curled up next to his new lover, resting his head on L's chest. He felt L's arms wrap around him and smiled.

"I suppose there's no need for a stand-in anymore," Light commented, looking up at L.

"I suppose not, Light-kun," L said. "I love you."

Light chuckled; L always had been one for saying exactly what he was thinking. "I love you too, Ryuzaki." Light felt one of L's arms shift, but ignored it and closed his eyes; maybe tonight he'll actually get some damn sleep.

'tk'

You've got to be kidding me.

**A/N: Phew, done! Well, I hope you enjoyed reading my plotless story, and the random smut. As I said, I'm not very good at keeping Light and L in character just yet, so please consider this practice. **

**Reviewers and flamers welcome! Please tell me if I made any spelling/grammatical errors; I got a new computer and I'm still getting used to typing on it.**

**And yes, I made L seme. Why? Because I believe the world needs more Seme!L. The fact that he is seme is completely my own opinion, so please don't review simply to whine about how Light should have been seme. Thanks!  
**

**Oh, and Red? Please don't kill me next time you see me. Thank you very much! :)  
**


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